Deep in the heart of Texas

MUSTANG ISLAND, TEXAS

Most folks who know me, know the present, surface me. There are a very few people who know more of my history, and the things that make me who I am.
I wanted to share a little bit more of that; actually just barely cover it, but this is a HUGE part of my more recent past, and it still affects me and who I am.
This is Padre Island. North Padre Island, to be exact, just outside of Corpus Christi, TX.

This is a (short) story about a girl and a boy, a dream, and an end. 
A few years ago, I met a man in a rather unconventional way. He lived in Texas, I lived here in Indiana.  We talked on the phone for months, before deciding to meet. It wasn't love at first sight, but he was charming, sweet and a little old fashioned. I liked him, he was crazy about me. It was probably the first time in my life that someone very unabashedly proclaimed utter devotion and enchantment with me. We started flying out to each other's respective states, as often as we could. I fell in absolute love with Texas. He fell in love with me. He lived in a charming little town on the banks of the Guadelupe River.  One of the favorite breakfast haunts sat right on the Guadelupe.

This man was wonderful; Texas was even better. I loved being in the Hill Country, and loved the flavor, sounds and views of Southwest Texas.  I loved San Antonio; the Alamo, the Riverwalk, even the Hill Country surrounding San Antone. 
Something just wouldn't let me rest in this though. My heart just couldn't settle on this. Something wasn't right. I knew deep in my heart that this man and I were not meant to be. It was obvious to others, but sometimes it's hard to see truth right in front of your eyes. You have to back up a bit.  After much prayer and deep thinking, I made a decision to break off the relationship. It broke his heart, and tore mine in two, but it was the right thing to do, on so many levels.
That relationship has affected me to this day. I actually still have dreams about this man, about Texas, about the gentle rolling river thru town, about the deer that danced thru the hillside at all times, about the cactus bushes and the rolling tumbleweeds, and Tex-Mex music you find on any radio at any time. I still think about his kindness, about how much fun he was, how sweet he was. We went to Padre Island on my last visit to Texas, and we broke up two days later. It still hurts. He has since married, to someone he was friends with when we were seeing each other. He still lives in the same house. Still drives the same vehicle. Very occasionally I hear from him. But you know what? I am still glad we broke up. I feel like the Lord RESCUED me from a trap that the enemy had set for me. I am so thankful to be on this side of that heartbreak, and look back and know I did the right thing, and know that the Lord brought me deliverance. Undeservedly so.
So I don't mean to look back in the rearview mirror - that's not my intention here. But this life, this man, even being in Texas the short times I was there, somehow changed my life. I may never find a man who will treat me as good as this man did. I almost doubt it. I may never live in Texas, although I have said often that if Jeffersonville was in Texas, I'd be there tomorrow. I may never make it back to Padre Island, see the Guadelupe River, see the Hill Country of Southwest Texas again, but it will never leave my memory this side of Heaven. I'm so THANKFUL to God's grace and mercy to me, for pulling me out of a situation that would have been so wrong for me. But I'll never forget Texas; it will always be a part of me now.

rolling past the cotton fields in East Texas

peaceful waters

An evening stroll down the boardwalk at Padre Island