Taking the Leap

Well, I finally did it. I finally jumped off the MySpace cliff and survived. I closed my account a couple of weeks ago, and I must say there is a sense of freedom and liberation that came with it. I rarely spent much time on the site, other than to check email, but I was continually checking up on John and Laura, just to see what was going on. I once made it a whole month without checking on them, but rarely went more than a few days. I even had Laura on my friend's list so I could keep up with her blogs since her profile was set to private.
Yes, this was totally disinginuous of me, even to the point of being hypocritical...I wasn't interested in being her "friend"; I was interested in snooping. There. I admit it. I am a closet snooper, only she knew I was following her blogs and told me so; said it didn't bother her. But it bothered me that I had not yet separated myself from them completely.
So as I was sitting in church a few weeks ago, I felt very strongly in my heart something (Someone?) telling me to separate myself from them. Separate myself completely from them. I vowed then and there that I was going to have to just cancel my account, because I would forever be tempted to "check in" with the latest rumblings in Texas. It took me a couple of weeks from that point to do it, but I did, and I'm happier for it. It's a relief actually, not to feel compelled to check his or her website almost daily. It's a relief not to have a constant reminder of what was, and what is; even though I'm thankful, content and blessed that things worked out like they did; still, it would sting a bit to read what they had done this weekend, or see pictures of him and her together from this trip or that trip. Don't know why, it just did, and I know it's healthiest for me to just leave it all behind. So I did. I have to admit I have been tempted a time or two to take a sneak peak at his profile, but truthfully, I don't want to, and I'm not going to. God gave me deliverance and rescued me from that situation in a mighty way; I don't want to be the one to "look back". There is a song we used to sing, that says "I will not look back on the things left behind, He chose me to follow Him", and I have thought of that song alot here lately it seems.
I was going thru a box of photos today, and found some pictures I had put away of John and I. I felt nothing except gratefulness to God that He got me away from that relationship, and I feel that, step by step, that chapter is finally ending in my life, and I have moved on- and it feels wonderful.